how i will lay alone

visions of lillies and lavender leaves

day filled with sunbeams and sweet smelling rain

endless fumbling summer slips between my dreams

as my loved ones corner their futures uselessly

calling out a secret and sacred name in the dark

i feel alone in my state of being

feeling for an edge but only grasping

more of the smooth surface of uncertainty

the yellowed pages turn behind my eyes

i read of beautiful women and sophisticated men

college grads with their fearless checklists

preachers and teachers with something to prove

children with no clear concept of what is wise

these are the things that keep me up till 1:45

this morning will pass by with cold clammy hands

patiently awaiting the warm touch of afternoon

upon these basement walls

may God forgive this waste of space