sunshine don't know me

i guess one could say
she swept me off of my feet
two days of music
and i almost believe, it's something

three days of summer
and a camera full of film;
in cinematic dreams in the sun
she shot the backs of my eyelids

self contained, no, i'm
self sustained, no, it's
not enough for the longhaul

selfish games for a
selfish gain. it's no
wonder i'm hitting a brick wall

count all the blessings
in born again nights,
when i found all i needed
inside of your simple, sweet mind

think you can point my gun
back at me after one season?
with your...pagan thin reasoning
sowing some SALT with the seed

we'll see no fruit
from these wounded rows
before you let down your guard

until then, i shall till the soil,
toil under two suns,
and make the three, my one.

i only want honesty
honestly, on her behalf

(notes for mom)

my thoughts on:

valuing people versus...

depending on people,

attachment,

getting unsatisfactory and insensitive advise...

from an old friend.

last stanza:

i shall work endlessly day and night...

with the strength i can only receive from...

father, son, and holy ghost.

love - cody

struggle and fellowship

all that i can do is let it go
tumbling off into the night
of futures still unknown
leaving burning trails behind me
branded hands with love
left all treasures here behind
to find it up above

no, hold on, accept it

i could help you with those chains
they wear your writsts raw
why let these weather patterns control your mood
tossed by the wind, i saw you, letting go
letting a hundred small portion of your energy
go to waste on a worry, when
you could be completely free
the keys have been given to you

it's almost painful, to love
because it's real and it's scary
letting go of your ego and self appraisal
taking a leap, floating free
in a sea of uncertainty
only to fall face first into it,
a sunny afternoon, a cool bed, food provided
a mysterious, gritty, joyful existense
love free of bribes and battlefields and ownership

i want to tell you about it
i want to bring you a giant mirror
i want to bring one for myself
and i want us to look, and discuss
the things we can learn from each other
i'm not done discovering, i have much to learn
but for now i will lift you up
just before i drift off to sleep
with birds singing the sun up
i will dream of those days
a future filled with struggle
struggle and fellowship

know no style

cancel my haircut
can't decide if the long locks
should stay but

bed head for a year?
i just don't know why i should care
to comb it, mirror

on the wall
i just don't want to try at all
fall fall fall on out of style
i just don't know no style no more

am i punk rock
wish i knew what that was but
i do not

eyes bloodshot
i do not want to try at all
fall fall fall on out of shape
i just don't know no style no more

sunken eyes see no change
one day older but i never
look my age

wanted to be hep like him
my idol as a teen

long fingernails and fro
flanel shades and
skinny jeans

hipster? scene?
not trying anymore at all
fall fall fall on out of line
i just don't know no style no more

sunset limited

twin mattress on the floor
i don't mind anymore

this place is just a moral leper colony
full of eager terminal commuters

the fiery pegs in the offensive holes
they have no flowers for the status quo

let's make our belief illegal again
then this ridiculous game of dozens can end

forced labor camp worker won the lottery
led him out to slaughter just this morning

found myself slipping into manual override
had to kill the old man again

broke bread with a new friend
played the next level on co-op to win

helped keep me nailed down to the platform
when the sunset limited came screaming by

the primacy of self
plotting out my own earthly endless chase

the primacy of this grace
a drowning pool of second chances

pilgrims and peasants

woman of the woods

by flame and cold blue moonlight


she's hemming up his torn garments

making sure to stitch with patient fingers

watching through the window pane, frosted

for the return of her wander-lust filled lover


wise and wild plainsman

at sunset in dull brown twilight


he's walking down a dusty narrow road

making sure his pace is strong but slow

keeping eyes upon the smooth horizon

for the mountains; sleeping giant's bones

dry from rough and tumble bar floor nights

fought the men who pegged him as a fighter

stitched up all the the cuts and iced the bruises

took a torn up sleeve to make him miss her


mountain country children

in endless silent midnight


they're counting stars in silver fields

glad for time away from wood and stone

restful and at peace in this strange place

miles from their only childhood home


tell me that we'll finally find some valley

same as home, we'll all be joined together

blessed song, our call and response there

how i'd love to go tonight, so shall we?

BFFAH

he lives in a box...
you have to open the box
he lives in conifer
between two mountains
he has long fingernails
he likes bobby d
he loves velveeta mac'n'cheese
he's into to gender roles being equal
those who are brave are ballsy or
cervical not ovarian
i can take him out for a beer
he's just barely older than me
he won a male beauty pageant
school's over
connor's free
he's my bffn.
best friend for now
he likes to call us bffah
best friends for an hour
he likes elton john
drives a chevy truck
it's a teal, 4 wheel monster
he's going to DU for grad school
he wants to win a nobel prize for literature
i think his middle name is fredrick
he wears aviators
he doesn't like carrot cake
he's never had a girlfriend
he lives in a box
it's taped shut and no one wants to open it
i'll open his box
but he doesn't like beer
so i'll buy him a coke

california stars

i'd like to lay my heavy head to rest

on a bed of california stars

they hang ripe like fruit

just waiting for me to pick them

i'm telling you right now

to take them

dive in and swim

don't just wade

or dip your feet

dive in after me

i could be happy

with you, this dream

and a bed of california stars

a few simple things

i was born in July of 1987///

i'm reaching back...

past the vague recollection of my 6th birthday

trying to grab it and pull it in;

the memory as far back as i can find

between dusty stacks of worn out film.

i see them in grainy super 8 footage.

i only remember a few simple things\\\

i'm posing for a picture

at the end of a long humid day,

full of sun baked lawn and cool shade porch;

i'm full of tee-ball and bbq.

my wise uncle is kind to me

2nd cousins are fast with fair hair.

my world is unfocused in primary colors.

i see mostly the greens of the grass,

the red in my wiffle ball and bat,

the yellow hat my cousin wore,

the baby gray-blue of the kansas sky///

eastman kodak released super 8 film in 1965\\\

an over exposed shot of my mother

sunspots shoot between our faces.

i remember how she used to wear glasses

hair long across her back!

delicate dark photographs in our skin,

freckled faces in the summer.